I was heading off to be a novel-writing expat teaching English as a second language when I first found out I was going to be a father. I immediately pivoted 180 degrees to begin focusing on being the best parent I could possibly be. I became a ravenous student of childcare philosophy. I dedicated my life to parenting actively and consciously. I got trained and certified as a life coach so that I could work from home. My partner and I created Feeleez to help teach our kids about emotion. We then began sharing it with parents and teachers to help them help other children.
Congratulations Sheldon! You have created something truly powerful here! What a precious resource you are providing to those fathers in Chicago. I'd love to see your program scale to a national level!
In terms of your proposal, I might suggest finding a little more data to add to your description of the problem, and maybe another line or two about your impact as well. Other than that, I'd say it's very strong.
Good luck with the competition! And thanks for the vital work that you're doing.
Outside of this context, I just want to mention that you and your young men would probably really benefit from some of our work and tools. Here's a link to our site for your perusal: http://www.centerforemotionaleducation.com/ .
I think this is a stellar concept! And I think your proposal is strong.
The only things I would suggest are: a) adding just a little bit more about the problem (you gave great statistics, but you could make them more meaningful by painting the bigger picture of what these stats mean to the community and society); and b) doing the same with the impact statement (again you have some good numbers, but maybe say something about what it will mean to the success of the community). In both cases, I'd say you make a powerful logical argument, but could use just a little more of the emotional angle.
Thanks for the important work you're doing! And good luck with the competition!
I love this idea. I think there's real merit to putting these resources all together.
I agree with Brittany below about your founding story versus an example story. I also think you could make your proposal stronger if you include the information on your "2016 campaign pdf" right in your proposal, rather than relying on the judges to click on it and apply it appropriately. Some of it could go under your impact for this year, and some could go under plans for financing...